Book #3 of 2022! I got to start off by saying that this is one book that I wanted to finish so badly — not just because of the many blood-curdling and exceptionally exciting short stories, but also because
some of these were anything but "short". And these were also downright boring.
Roald Dahl has been one of my favourite authors ever since I read his children's classics, but it was only last year that I had stumbled upon a darker side to his writings. I found myself immersed in his volume of humankind's most vulnerable emotions, like Fear, Innocence, Cruelty and many more, but these are what I have read. (War is one of my current reads.)
That's one of the reasons why this book, 'The Best Of Roald Dahl', was an easy read for the most part; a number of the short stories featured were those that I had already read previously... but that didn't stop me from re-reading them!
Anyway, here are my top 3 short stories that I am sure I will read again (and I'm also sure you will love them, too) as well as my 3 of my worst reads (which I never want to encounter again.)
Here goes...
Best #3: Edward the Conqueror (1953) ★★★
Louisa and Edward are the typical couple in Dahl's eyes. He works hard and she cooks well. She also plays the piano stupendously. One day, she finds a grey cat in their garden, which follows Louisa into the house. The story then begins when the cat seems to actually listen to the compositions of Liszt, Vivaldi and many more! While this sounds like a ridiculous plot, you can actually read the process of Louisa strongly believing that the cat is a reincarnation of Liszt himself. Edward, to his great annoyance, finds his wife ignoring him and giving all her attention to this musical cat. It comes to the point where Edward (and even I) feels that his wife had gone mad. The ending was unexpected and brought the story to a full circle.
While I didn't particularly enjoy the mentality of Edward's (about his wife having to be doting and whatever), the fascinating story overpowers that. This story displayed Roald Dahl's proficiency in many topics.
Worst #3: William and Mary (1959) ★★
The story begins with Mary reading a letter from her late husband, William, that made her question the man's sanity. The letter narrated Landy (William's neurosurgeon) dramatically and enthusiastically explain how the brain can be "functional" even after William's death. ("Provided, of course, that a supply of oxygenated blood could be maintained," says Landy.)
As the letter progresses, we find Mary feel very uncomfortable with this crazy proposition, and to her shock William accepted it! She goes to meet "William" and has a conversation with the brain...
This was one story that I had hoped to have really liked, but it just got too technical in terms of the cardiology and neuroscience. While it is commendable that Dahl had had a vast knowledge in various fields, this story would've been much better if it had a quicker pace and a more definite ending.
Best #2: Parson's Pleasure (1958) ★★★★
There is a man named Mr Boggis who is clearly, through Dahl's precise choice of words, an ingenious businessman. He drives around the countryside, scans for potential customers and there you go — the money rolls in as he uses his charm to make the owners of rare furniture give them to him for a ridiculously cheap bargain! Mr Boggis uses his persuasion skills to personal use and it was a delight to read Roald Dahl paint a picture so perfect that I was enthralled by Mr Boggis' skills myself. Things get very interesting when he comes across a commode (not a toilet as what I had thought it was, rather it was a chest of drawers) that was one of the most sought-after antiquities. Mr Boggis wanted it at all cost... well, at a cheap price and without raising suspicion amongst the unaware owners.
As with the underlying theme of all the short stories in this book, this too had a twist at the end that makes you want to scream in frustration. But, the precise choice of language to describe not only this prized furniture but also the overall tense atmosphere made this one of the best reads.
Worst #2: The Visitor (1965) ★★
'The Visitor' revolves around the narrator's receiving a large collection of diaries from his estranged Uncle Oswald. One of the excerpts from his diaries made the plot of the story.
Basically, Oswald was a ladies' man who went from one woman to another. Very detached, Oswald was. He was described to have idiosyncrasies such as collecting scorpions but also had an extreme knowledge on complicated diseases for some reason. Anyway, Oswald's car had broken down in the Sinai Desert (where he had gone to hunt for scorpions) and soon enough a wealthy man, Aziz, passes by and helps him out. At first, Oswald is weary of the man, but his rich status made all these suspicions vanish (because rich people are apparently always trustworthy...) Oswald is invited to stay the night at the man's huge mansion, and he is enchanted by the beauty of Aziz's daughter and wife. He flirts with them and at night, when Oswald found an unrecognisable lady enter his bedroom he felt on top of the world. It was very dark so he couldn't know who it was (how vain). But the next morning he couldn't figure out whether he spent the night with the daughter or the wife. When Aziz dropped Oswald to his repaired car, he got the greatest shock of his life. Aziz discloses that he had another daughter in the mansion who he didn't introduce... and she had leprosy.
This was a major disappointment because the story itself took forever to start. Further, I was appalled by the way women were described as objects in the eyes of Oswald. While Dahl might've claimed to have written it like that for the sake of Oswald's character, the added hate towards people with illnesses was very unnecessary. Oswald got what he deserved, though.
Best #1: Pig (1959) ★★★★★
Have you ever read something so thrilling and engrossing that you have re-read it immediately? 'Pig' is one such story.
It is split into 'chapters' and it follows the story of an boy, called Lexington, who was orphaned very early into his life when his parents tried to enter the house through a window at night but were shot by a policeman who thought they were intruders. The nanny didn't hear the doorbell, hence the parents tried to enter in that "suspicious" manner. Lexington grows up in a quaint cottage with his old great aunt, who raises him as a staunch vegetarian. The boy finds himself to be a natural cook and produces the loveliest dishes! When the aunt dies, he is left with a load of cash and goes to New York. He is tricked into giving most of it to the lawyers who take advantage of his innocence. Our Lexington dines at a posh restaurant and is awestruck with a certain dish... which is non-vegetarian. He is dumbfounded when he realises that his aunt had lied to him saying all animal dishes were "revolting".
Lexington fixes his mind to learn the art of cooking pork and is given directions by the head chef to a butcher's shop. In fact, before that, the chef says that "there's a chance... that it might've been a piece of human stuff." While reading this, of course, it felt like another jab at Lexington's gullibility. It was not. At the butcher's shop, Lexington takes a tour and witnesses how the pigs are chained at their ankles and are dropped from a height to a bloody end. But Lexington found himself in a similar position, too. Blood-curdling, right?
Why was this the best? Roald Dahl had achieved perfection in having a proper pace (which the chapters helped in achieving so) as well as having a definite and a totally unexpected ending. The choice of words and apt descriptions made it a thrilling experience reading the gruesome 'Pig'.
Worst #1: Georgy Porgy (1965) ★
This was a very weird story. Borderline creepy, actually. A vicar named George never looked at women with lust and had always felt frightened even when a woman accidentally touched him. Over the years, countless lustful women try to seduce George, but the latter never understood why and hated this intimacy. It is explained through flashbacks that his mother had always told truthful bedtime stories, about the dark sides of humans (including sex), and in an attempt to educate young George, she brought him to witness the supposed miracle of life when a rabbit was giving birth. To George's utmost horror, the mother rabbit swallowed the baby almost immediately! George became traumatised and ran away from the scene and his mother, who was running after him, got struck by a vehicle and died on the spot. Back to the present, George carries out a very worrying experiment with male and female rates by separating them using electrical fences to observe which sex would cross over and risk their lives. All the females died in trying to reach the males and George concludes that women (yes, he used rats to represent all women) are naturally predatory and sexually driven. What's worse is that later a lady offers a fruit punch to George who gets intoxicated. She takes him to a farmhouse and George, for the first time, feels okay in giving in to the woman's seduction. But things take a turn when George gets swallowed by the woman and he falls into her stomach. He sees other men here in white coats. Things are not as they seem.
What was really disappointing was the portrayal of women. While the plot twist at the end was really unforeseen, it was also quite confusing for the most part. I detested this story because Dahl wrote an unfiltered and uncalled-for story. There's a limit to creative liberty sometimes.
Final thoughts
'The Best Of Roald Dahl' was certainly a mixed bag. This is indeed International Women's Month, so it wasn't pleasant to read about women being compared to sexually-driven rats or find stereotypical women roles featured in stories. Nor was it enjoyable to see a cherished children's author write such stuff. Yet, this book sure had its highlights, and Roald Dahl proves to be 'the absolute master of the twist-in-the-tale'.
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